Leigh
Kids’ slumber parties are always hit or miss. They’re either movie and pizza-filled, or they end in tears — one kid screaming at the other, a parent rushing over to get them. Look, we don’t make the rules. Kids can be pretty nasty.
When one dad asked Reddit if he was in the wrong for kicking out the “super cool girl” from her 14-year-old daughter’s sleepover, he got a load of responses. In short, the girl was acting like a huge spoiled brat—ungrateful, staring at her phone, making nasty comments about the OP’s kid’s gifts. So, he kicked her out.
AITA for kicking out a girl from my daughter's sleepover bday party?
byu/trway21423 inAmItheAsshole
The bratty guest texted the OP’s daughter while she was at the actual slumber, telling her the slumber party was lame. A massive teen-girl jerk move. The OP writes, “It was MY DAUGHTER’s bday, and I didn’t want the rest of her night ruined because of some spoiled brat who was making it all about her. I guess she didn’t exactly do anything wrong, but at the same time her attitude was unbelievable. AITA?”
Can you really blame the OP from trying to protect her kid with that sort of toxic energy? Or did he overstep his bounds and neglect his wife’s POV?
Reddit commenters weighed in with some extremely nuanced and supportive thoughts.
“NTA. The most important thing right now is teaching your daughter the things she should and should not accept, and a BIG one is not accepting people in her life who look down on her for not having an “inferior” cellphone or anything for that matter. She needs to see when she is being belittled or when people are being unfair to her. You both worked hard for the money that supplied the phone, it sounds like under any other circumstances she would have been thankful and gracious. She doesn’t need to be tainted by toxic energy like her friend is bringing to the table. Teenage angst is a very real thing and high, volatile emotions come and go so quickly with them so as long as your daughter is ok and isn’t still being mocked by this girl or any of her other friends, you are NTA. Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger!” — JessRue19
Most people were NOT fond of that bratty kid and made it clear that the OP was not a jerk:
“‘Handed me her jacket without even looking up.’ Normally I tend to be more sympathetic with children, but all that stopped here. And it was all downhill from there…” — maple_stars
“NTA, you did what your daughter couldn’t and that’s stand up to a bully. It will be years before she realizes that those “cool people” in high school often time grow up to be terrible people that she would never seek a relationship with outside of that high school setting. But I wouldn’t let someone disrespect my home or my family.” — i-died-in-vietnam
“NTA. I completely understand where you are coming from. That being said, this may have made things worse for your daughter in the long run. It’s been a while since I was a teenage girl, but I remember they can be vicious. Hopefully, the girl learned a lesson, but it’s possible she may lash out at your daughter because of being sent home.” — pad1007
One commenter thought that maybe kicking the kid out was taking an easy out, rather than chatting with them both:
“You had great learning opportunities for both girls. You kind of took the easy option. That’s why you feel cognitive dissonance.” — newsix66
“OP didn’t teach his daughter any of that–he just swooped in and “fixed” everything for her like the helicopter parent he is.” — laurpr2
Others reminded the OP that they will need to monitor the situation now, as it can easily lead to bullying.
“If I may tag along with this comment, OP will need to check up on this. That girl has the daughter’s phone number and can very easily start to bully her through text or social media. It wouldn’t be ok to go through the daughter’s phone, but talking to her and asking if she has received nasty messages is a good plan. She’s opened up before to her parents which is a sign that there’s a really good relationship there, so discussing it with her will definitely help.” — Trania86
But some people thought that the OP was definitely the A-Hole:
“I’m not sure that acting impulsively without talking to the daughter was a good idea. Realistically, this girl and her friends are going to give the daughter a lot of shit when she goes back to school. Like yeah okay maybe he saved the party, but that’s not worth much if miss popular is going to get the other girls to bully her for the rest of the year. YTA for not getting the daughter’s input; it’s not really okay to act on her behalf in situations like this.” — anodynamo
“YTA. (1) you spied on your daughter for no reason
(2) you let a 14 year old girl bruise your fragile ego and pride about the gift you bought and knee jerk reacted by ominously summoning her from the party at 1am with no explanation other than something came up which very likely made this girl think something terrible happened with her family
(3) you childishly and angrily made her call her mom in the middle of the night and seriously said “that’s what you said right, that you want to go, so go” (which was something she texted so she now knows that either your daughter ratted her out or that you spy on your daughter and can spread that information around)
(4) you judge this girl SO HARSHLY, having no understanding of teen angst and absolutely no clue what this particular girl has going on in her life that could be feeding this attitude
(5) you forced another parent to leave their house in the middle of the night to fetch their kid when there was no emergency situation
(6) you did all of this without having a conversation with your daughter about her wishes, and didn’t give her a chance to explain to you how completely embarrassing it is to have your angry father kick a cool girl out of your party in the middle of the night for texting rude things
(7) you did all of this without having a conversation with your wife about the best course of action
(8) you essentially have appointed yourself judge and jury of your 14 year old daughter’s friend group with the final (and really only) say in who stays and goes.” — elwoodpdowdsmother
“This right here. OP said this girl was “super cool,” and when i was 14, I was self-conscious af, I would’ve loved to have a cool girl at my party. Not that it’s right or it makes sense, but everyone eventually grows up and realizes that no one cares about who is cool or not, but OP’s daughter should have the opportunity to learn that on her own. Social status is huge in high school… OP may have just branded his daughter for the next four years.” — xniks101x
“Also, what troubles me is that OP’s wife is initially the one who called him the asshole, which means she had some sort of objection to OP’s course of action. Was wife asleep and OP did this without consulting? At 1 AM that certainly seems possible. Or did OP do this over wife’s objection, steamrolling over her opinion? I just find it odd that OP did not consult with or allow his daughter’s mother or stepmother to weigh in or address the situation, despite the fact that she undoubtedly has life experiences and perspectives that would be crucial in resolving this conflict without humiliating his daughter.” — MattTheSmithers
