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20 People Who Really Did Get Married Because They Were “Both Still Single” At A Certain Age Share Their Stories

10.

“This isn’t mine, but I saved it because it just touched me deep. So here you go if you need a good cry:

We met in college, and were instant best friends. I was 20; she was 18. We spent all our time together, and were briefly lovers, but we never formally dated because both of us were very much into being wild and free and enjoying our youth. We dated other people on and off, but we talked about it and agreed that a committed relationship between the two of us would be an all-or-nothing kind of thing. Since neither of us wanted to give up our hedonistic, promiscuous, irresponsible lifestyle, we made a point of not committing to a relationship. A few years went by that way, and we were very happy, right up until her sisters died. It was a car accident. They were 16 and 18, and both were killed in the crash. Dead on arrival at the hospital.

My friend was utterly, completely devastated. It still hurts me to remember it, even now. Her father, though, was even more devastated, to the point where he was legitimately willing to let himself starve to death rather than try to go on living. She moved home, out of state, to take care of him. She cut ties with everyone for awhile, even me. I didn’t see her again for two years. She was so different after that. Before the accident, she’d always been the most joyful, exuberant, positive person I’d ever met. After she came back, she was quieter, sadder, maybe wiser. I wanted to be there for her more than I’d ever wanted anything in the world.

Not being able to fix things for her, not being able to make it better, that hurt more than anything I could ever remember. I guess that’s when I realized how in love with her I was. I told her that I loved her, that I wanted to be there with her, and she told me that she couldn’t handle the idea of any kind of emotional connection for awhile. Maybe a few years, she said. Maybe never. Maybe she’d never be able to open up emotionally again. She said she needed space from me, particularly from me. She said she needed to figure out what it meant to be alive in a world where her sisters were gone. She asked me to give her time, and I told her that I’d give her anything she wanted. She told me that she’d never been happier than she was when we were together. I told her the same. I told her that I understood, and that’s when we made our pact. I was 25 then, and she was 23.

We agreed: if she turned 30 and I turned 32, and if she had learned to heal, and if she hadn’t fallen in love with someone else, and if I hadn’t fallen in love with someone else, then we’d get married. So that’s how we parted ways. She moved to Wyoming, to be alone. I moved to Germany, to get as far away from her as I could. We didn’t keep in touch at first, but over the next few years we built up a correspondence. We wrote letters because we both liked writing letters. We emailed now and then. Sometimes we’d mail each other books that we thought the other would like. Years went on, and we became closer and closer. When I turned 30, I half-jokingly brought up our marriage pact. I told her that I hadn’t ever fallen for anyone else. (I didn’t mention this, but I couldn’t have fallen for anyone else. I always compared every other woman to her, and in my memory she was perfect.)

She replied that she was still very serious about our agreement and that she’d never fallen in love with anyone else either. I asked her if she thought she had begun to heal, and she said she had, as much as a person could ever heal from something like that. A year later, she told me she’d like us to meet and spend some time together, to see if the spark was still there. It was. She was living in California at that time, and I found a job there. I’d always wanted to live in California anyway. I proposed to her six months later, and she smiled and told me “no fair,’ that I had to wait another few more months, when she’d be turning 30. I thought it was silly, but at that point, things were going so well that a few months didn’t seem like they could matter at all.

But I’m crying now, so I’ll have to wrap this up quickly. She died. That’s how the story ends. She was hit by a drunk driver and spent 2 days in the ICU before her body gave out. I went to her funeral. I spoke to her father but I barely remember what we said. I’ve never spoken to him since. I don’t have the willpower to make myself find out how he’s doing. That will be four years ago this November. I’m in therapy and trying to learn how to have feelings again, other than blank, mindless, miserable rage. I often wonder if this is what it felt like for her. She made progress. She learned to feel again. That thought is what keeps me going. She did it. She’d want me to do it. That’s it. That’s the story. It’s a sh—tty story, and I hate it.”—Definitely_Not_Turok

 

11.

“Not married to her but I’ll tell my story anyway. One of my best friends growing up was a girl. She was my neighbor and 2 years ahead of me in school. We used to spend the summers swimming, riding bikes, eating ice cream and laying in the grass at the park watching clouds. Typical American upbringing in the 80’s-90’s.

As we got older we drifted apart as we were in different grades and hanging out with the neighbor kid who was two grades behind you wasn’t cool. In high school though we kind of started talking again and we’d hang out on my dock in the late evening talking about life. During one of said talks, we made such a pact that if neither was married by our 30’s (which seemed ages off at the time) we’d marry each other and have kids. We lost touch after she left for college and I went off to a different state as well 2 years after. I eventually married, found a job, had kids and whatnot.

One night I was finished reading to my son and was sitting in his room waiting for him to drift off when I got a Facebook message. It was her. We chatted a bit and I accepted the friend request and was perusing through her profile. She was smoking hot!! The next day or so she sent me a message that she was bummed to find I was married and had kids, etc because of our pact. She sent a long message saying I had grown up to be quite attractive and successful and that my kids were beautiful and my wife was lucky. I couldn’t help but feel anything but sorrow for her. Time is a weird thing. I’m still friends with her on FB and I like her photos of her drinking shots in neon glow and she likes photos of my youngest in the bath.”—MindTuna

12.

“Our promise wasn’t for when we’re 35 but 30. We have been friends for years before we made the joke-promise and have been friends for 11 years (became friends when I was 17 she was 16) Through many friendships and relationships with other people, including one of us almost getting engaged to a former lover, we still remained friends.

When I clocked 20 if I recall correctly, we jokingly promised to get married to each other if we weren’t married by 30. Long story short, I’m 28 now and she’s 26. we didn’t start dating until last year and are supposed to be getting married in June (if Coronavirus lockdown lets us). We went through a lot of maturity and personal changes in our early 20’s and it was so admirable watching how she grew and became “wove”. Over the course of 5 years watching her grow, I knew she was and still is the ONE. No regrets here.”—bullzy17

13.

“My wife and I had a pact like that for if we were 26 and single. This pact was from middle school and we kinda went separate ways after high school and reconnected when we were almost 25. We both had feelings for each other and started to date and remembered our pact. But that’s not what “made” us get married. We’re extremely happy with each other and even work together every day. We can joke with each other and tell each other whatever is bothering us at that moment and work to figure out a solution. We are a pretty damn good team in life and at our job too!”—thegreatshepsky

14.

“I have one such arrangement pending. We (both men) were roommates and just got along very well. I made him laugh, and he cooked healthy food for me. I can’t remember if the agreement was 35 or 30, but I should check on that. Edit to Add: I identify as straight. I am not sure if he identifies as straight or not, but do know that he has dated women. He was dating a woman at the time we made the arrangement, IIRC.”—REMFan87

15.

“My husband and I did this! We met at around age ten. I lived in a violent household and he lived in the trailer park near my house. I ran away one night, and he was sitting on the porch shuffling Yugioh cards silently. We both froze when we saw each other. He then asked if I wanted to play because he had an extra deck. We became quick friends. Whenever the violence got to be too much, I’d run to his house and we’d play.

As we got older, we tried dating, but we were fairly innocent and messed it all up. Went back to being friends, but we swore to one another that we’d get married if we were single by age 30. I joined the military after high school and he decided to go to college. We stayed connected through social media. I got married and had a daughter, he found a girlfriend and had a son. We talked about our kids and how happy we were for each other, and even laughed about our ‘silly’ agreement. One day a few years later, after my then-husband and I split amicably, he texted me out of the blue. We hadn’t talked in months due to being adults now, and things got in the way. The text made me very nervous; it sounded more like a goodbye. His girlfriend had left him, and so much else was going on in his life that he just wanted to thank me for being his friend.

I immediately called him and we talked for a long time, once again bringing up that we would never face the future alone because, if we didn’t find our ‘soulmates’, we were going to get married at 30, grow old, and sit on our porch while I made tons of cookies. By the end of it, he was laughing and agreeing, and I felt like he was out of that dark hole. I moved back to my hometown a few years later. I was 29 and he was 30. Fast forward to now and we are happily married with a beautiful 16-month-old son. We still talk about our journey to each other. We still play Yugioh ocasionnally, and have taught our kids to play too. Life is good.”—ItsMeChara

16.

“Not me but my mom. My parents got divorced two years ago because both my parents were very unhappy with one another. My mom recently reconnected with her old boyfriend from high school who, in his own words, would “never marry anyone else and would wait for her to be with him, and would have no one else.” Well, he heard about my mom’s divorce (keep in mind my mom is 50) on Facebook and reached out to her and they have recently started dating again and are already madly in love. I’m really happy for her. My dad also found someone but that’s irrelevant to the question stated lol.”—throwawayacc_cldy

17.

“My husband and I made a joke in high school that we would get married at 30 if we were single. We were friends through school but not super close or even part of the same circle. We both had boyfriend/girlfriend at the time as well. After we graduated school I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years ( same one I had when we made the joke) and made a soppy Facebook status about hating men. My husband messaged me saying that I can’t hate them all and there has to be a few exceptions. We’ve been together almost 6 years, married for almost 2 and have a baby on the way. We aren’t 30 yet but it was the best decision of my life. Looking back at it, I think we both must have had a thing for each other, otherwise, we never would have made the joke.”—kisaco 

18.

“When I was in school we had an English teacher who did this and told us the story. She had been asked out by this guy a few times and she had said no. They were friends but she said she wasn’t interested at all. He kept asking every 6-12 months until, eventually, she said that if she’s still single when she’s 30 she’ll marry him.

They’ve been married 12 years and have 2 children and when we asked her about it she said that she’s still not sure if she loves him but she’s settled because she’s not getting any younger, she said that she wasn’t the best looker, she’s got a difficult personality and with 2 young kids she doesn’t want to upset the family balance. She said that she told her husband if she still feels the same way when the kids are older they’ll just divorce and go from there. She was a nice lady but a total nutter really. A definite over-sharer and maybe slightly unhinged but probably one of the best and funniest teachers I had.”—lostonline

19.

“We met when we were 11, were friends for years, and then made a pact when we were 20 that we’d get married if neither of us were married by 31 (giving ourselves that one year in our 30s, hah). Turns out just that discussion alone got our wheels turning about how we must really feel about each other and we started dating by the next year. We’ve now been together for 11.5 years, married for almost 4 years, and had our daughter 1.5 years ago. I think the “pact” was us testing the waters a bit before we dove in.”—humhum

20.

“We were best friends in high school and kept talking to each other about how when we turned 25 we would get married if there was nobody else. Well at some point that got lowered to 21. Then the next time we talked about it, 20. Then it suddenly dropped to 18. We were 17 at the time and at that point, I flat out said, “I don’t like thinking about you being with someone else.” He agreed, saying that he could never imagine a life without me. We ended up moving in together at 18, married at 19, baby at 21. We are now 23 and going on 4 years of marriage. No marriages are perfect, but we are genuinely happy and love each other.”—allforfoody

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