Aimeé
Subreddit r/AmItheA–hole is where people go to find out if they did the wrong thing in a situation and get an honest answer from a bunch of strangers.
It’s also now evolved to become a place where mom’s passive-aggressively attack their son and his fiancée, ever since Redditor u/friendsoverfamilydil posted her story under the title, “AITA for being upset my family can’t come to my son’s wedding because of DILs friends.”
She starts by saying she created her account just to share this tale, because “my daughter told me about this place” which is lie number one.
She says her son has been with his fiancée for six years and they have a four-year-old.
“She works a lot and has a group of friends she always has plans with, so when our son comes to visit he’s alone,” she writes. Hmm seem suspicious. Anyway, the wedding was booked for this March and obviously, it has to be different than planned
“We’d hoped things would be better by now but we finally accepted the reality that the wedding we wanted will have to be canceled. My son and his fiancé will still be getting married that day, the date is significant to them, but they can only do a very small group of people to be there. We were told for the outside space it can only be 20 guests.”
Basically, she says that her son’s guest list is smaller than the bride’s, which includes the five friends she already ominously referred to as taking up all of her daughter-in-law’s time. So they got into a fight:
But since she has 10 people for her side coming I want her to give up two of those spots for my mom and dad. She said no. She said that it was non negotiable, that those five friends have been there for her since she was 12 and she was having them be there. I think this is ridiculous, and told her she always prioritizing these friends over everyone else. She said they are her family, and that they have been there more for her, my son, and my grandson then my husband and I ever have.
I told my son that this upset me. He said that they were his friends too now and that even if they weren’t, this was a battle I would not win. That his fiancé stated very VERY early on in their relationship that her friends would never not be there for these kind of things. They met my grandson before I did, they threw her baby shower, they were there for his first birthday while we had to wait for weeks. I’m tired of coming in second to this group of people. I don’t want any of them there.
I told my son I would not be coming. He said that he understood, and said they wouldn’t fill my spot just in case. My daughter is saying I shouldn’t have an opinion since it’s not my wedding and I didn’t pay for it. But I think our family is getting cheated again by her friends.
Most of the comments are people telling the MIL she is definitely an a–hole. She clearly sees this wedding being about her, and her DIL has a right to have who she wants at her wedding. It was probably very hard to narrow things down, and throwing a fit and refusing to attend is bad for everyone.
But then the plot thickened! Someone posting under the name Sandwichmama wrote a comment suggesting that the OP was her own mother-in-law and that she in fact heard about this Reddit spot from her—and was probably posting in it to get her DIL to see it.
“You’re forgetting to mention that your parents would refuse to wear a mask, as well as live out of state,” she continued. “And that the only reason my grandmother is in attendance is she’s officiating.”
The commenter eventually commented again to say it had been confirmed that the OP was her MIL:
She also explained that her MIL is very neglectful of her grandkid and basically doesn’t make an effort to see them. She also doesn’t like Sandwichmama’s friends because they’re LGBTQ. So yeah, she’s a massive a–hole.
There is an update on the post, though it doesn’t address these revelations:
Update to add- please stop. I’m sorry I understand I am the a–hole please stop sending me death threats. This isn’t worth it.
It never is worth being passive-aggressive.
More AITA 2020:
- Man Sets “Pee Trap” To Show His Wife She Is Being Irrational About Bathroom Habits
- To Husband’s Embarrassment, Wife Refuses To Get Rid Of Anime Body Pillow
- Bride Disinvites Friend Because Her Recent Stillbirth Might “Take Attention” From The Wedding
- Mother-In-Law Asks If It’s Wrong To Wear Black To Her Son’s Wedding After He Was “Put Off” By The Idea
Featured Image: Pexels/cottonbro
