Patricia Grisafi
Homophobia can look like many things. It can be outwardly violent or quietly insidious. It can even look like someone’s girlfriend worrying that her boyfriend’s gay roommate is “making eyes” at him — like in the case of one Redditor on AITA.
In this situation, the OP’s girlfriend started behaving towards his gay roommate in a way that makes the OP angry. He was so disgusted by her behavior he told her she was not welcome in their home anymore. Was he too harsh or did his girlfriend need a rough dose of reality about her homophobic behavior?
“I (30M) live with my best buddy Mark (30). We decided 2 years ago, we were sick of paying high rent costs and having shitty roommates so we pooled our money together to put a deposit down on a house. It’s a good arrangement as we both have our own separate spaces, it’s cheaper paying a mortgage and we do everything jointly. We’ve also been best friends for 20+ years and enjoy living together. It’s also important to note that I am straight and Mark is gay, but this has never bothered me and it doesn’t impact how I see him,” writes the OP.
“Mark is single after a breakup right now and I’ve been seeing Hannah (was seeing her?) for about a year. I told her right from the start about my living arrangements so in case she ever came to my house, she knew Mark lived there too. It never seemed to be an issue until Mark and his boyfriend broke up and Hannah’s attitude changed.”
Hannah apparently started making comments that she was “uncomfortable with him around me” and that he was “making eyes” at the OP.
The OP told her she was being ridiculous, as the two roommates are friends and not into each other at all. Hannah’s comments started to make both of them feel weird, so the OP sat down and had a talk with Hannah about the situation.
“I have told Hannah multiple times to stop as this is Mark’s house too and I won’t have him feeling sh–ty. Hannah just keeps ramping it up and her comments are getting worse to the point she even said he wanted to make a move on me. I finally snapped. I told her that being gay doesn’t automatically mean he wants to sleep with me and her attitude is disgusting. She said she was joking and I said it didn’t feel like a joke.”
Then the OP told her that if she can’t adjust her attitude, then she is not welcome in their home.
This didn’t sit well with Hannah, who said the OP was acting like an a******. Did the OP make the right choice to kick Hannah out? According to Redditors who praised the OP for being a great ally, yes.
“She’s still stuck in the ‘gay = will make a move on any dude’ homophobic trope and needs to either get the reality check or to be gone. Stand up for your best friend, and fuck homophobia,” said NotASkeltal.
“Hannah is disgusting and is displaying homophobic attitudes and language. She is equating Mark who is gay to being a sexual predator waiting to pounce on you. It’s very hard for people like that to change and I honestly would rethink if she’s someone you want to be with. It’s clear how much you care about Mark and I applaud you defending your best friend but she is poison and if she continues to be around him, she’ll keep dripping her poison,” explained scottishgirlsyndrome.
“As a big ol’ gay dude with a big group of straight guy friends can I just say thank you for being such a solid bro? Not everyone comes through for us the way you have for Mark, he’s lucky to have you. NTA and good luck on finding your next gf, cause this one ain’t it,” said llOfficerNoGent.
“This reminds me of my (now-34F) best friend’s (now-37M) girlfriend when he was, like… 23. She was obsessed with thinking I wanted him, despite him being like my brother. When I met his now-wife for the first time, I asked her if she thought I was trying to steal him. She laughed so hard, she cried, and I definitely approved of her. Your GF is immature, selfish and insecure. I’m grateful you’re standing up for mark, especially in his own home,” shared Fly0ver.
The OP updated the post to explain that he and Hannah did break up. Good riddance, because who needs to be around that kind of behavior?
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