“Seeing The Baby Come Out Was Overrated”—Man Bails On Wife In Labor With Twins To Go To Work

Childbirth is unpredictable. One minute you’re fine, going about your work, when all of a sudden liquid starts streaming down your legs. Oh crap, you might think, it’s time—even though you are not even remotely ready. Having a village to encourage you while you go through labor is essential. And the most important member of your village? The parent of your child.

Ideally, your partner should be there holding your hand and making sure that you feel supported. That was not the case in a recent Reddit AITA post in which the father of the child decided to leave his wife to give a presentation for his work. Yes, you read that correctly.  

“My wife went into labor around 6 pm on Sunday. We were expecting twins. It quickly turns into a very painful process she kept cutting off the blood pressure to my hand when she squeezed and nearly sprayed my shirt with vomit. Around 3 am my dad calls. I work for my dad’s company and we had a presentation for clients Monday morning that I had to get ready for.”

I’m so sorry she squeezed your hand while trying to squeeze two babies out of her vagina!

“My dad heard my wife was in labor but told me he needed me on this presentation. He said there was nothing I could do to help my wife and delivery and seeing the baby come out was overrated and people don’t prepare you for the gore. He said he needed me to rest up and make myself presentable for the presentation,” the OP writes. 

Now I’m furious at both the OP and his sociopath father. Seeing the baby is OVERRATED? Grandpa privileges canceled! But it gets even worse. The OP writes that his wife’s labor was progressing very slowly, and they were all certain she would need forceps or more assistance.

So instead of standing by his wife, the OP decided to bail on her (and his babies) and do the presentation. 

“I realized that I couldn’t help her here, and my dad was counting on me, so I told her I needed to leave. She started screaming at me so loudly that a few nurses rushed over to our room. I ended up doing the presentation with the clients and things went well,” the OP writes. 

“I leave the office and see a text on my phone that said my wife delivered an hour ago at around 10:30 am and they had to use forceps. I would have missed the meeting had I stayed and my dad has given me everything he could possibly give me in life, so I didn’t want to let him down. AITA? I had responsibilities I had to take care of and while my wife is still screaming at me saying that she was alone when they ‘destroyed her body,’ I’m the only one who works and her mom herself said that she was emotional and overreacting. My wife even went as far to say that her family would disown her if she was the first of them to divorce but that she doesn’t consider me her husband right now.”

Excuse me while I collect my jaw from the floor. 

Redditors had nothing but rage for the OP, and you know what? It’s deserved. In fact, the story seemed so outrageous than many commenters said it had to be fake. 

“God you may be the biggest AH of the week. Your wife, the woman you vowed to stand by for the rest your life was having what could likely be the most traumatic experience of her life and instead of supporting her, you left her because you figured helping your dad was more important. The second you get married, your nuclear family becomes your wife and any children you have. They should become your first priority and you’ve managed t abandon them all at a time when your wife needed you, and missed the birth of your children. You’d be lucky if you ever get to see those kids. You need a reality check. It’s unfortunate your wife doesn’t want to divorce you, hopefully she changes her mind,” explained MoonlitKitten96

“If it were me, I’d be filling out divorce papers while still in the hospital. I’d also make sure everyone knew he was not allowed anywhere near my room or the babies,” said AmethysstFire.

“If I was the client and I learned he missed the birth to sell smth to me, I would try to find someone else to do the work,” said suckmyhugedong

“What exactly did you think you were going to be doing there in the first place? Catching the baby? Your sole purpose was moral support. You failed. She was scared. She was vulnerable. And you left her. Your ‘responsibility’ is to your wife and children. Yes, your dad raised, provided, etc. But there’s a reason the family you create because the priority over the family you came from. You even make it sound like it’s somehow your wife’s fault and that what was happening was somehow in her control. ‘She cut off my blood pressure and spewed vomit…’ I can’t tell if you were just misguided about the ‘beauty of child birth’ or your just completely unsympathetic about how hard this was for your wife,” said DeadlyCyn205

“You never leave a women in birth. Especially because she was giving birth to twins. YTA x 1000 for ‘it quickly turns into a painful process she kept cutting off the blood pressure to my hand when she squeezed…’ way to make it about you. You expected your wife, a first time mom from what it seems, to naturally birth twins in a couple of hours?! What the hell?” anNonyMass asked.

“YTA and a terrible husband. Your wife made a huge mistake marrying and having a child with someone this far up his father’s ass,” commented matsun2389

“You’re not just an asshole; you’re an undocumented breed of assholery the world has never seen. Do I even need to explain why? You ABANDONED your wife. Let’s not sugarcoat things, that’s exactly what you did. You left her all alone when she needed you the most because you’re a selfish twig of a human. Actually, you didn’t just abandon her; you abandoned your newborn children as well. So for that, you’re a double asshole. Oh, and your dad isn’t any better. He knew (heard, even!) that your wife, his daughter-in-law, was in labor. Does he tell you not to worry about the presentation, that he’ll figure something out? Does he tell you to stay by her side through this? Does he even ask what’s going on and if she’s okay? No, no, and no again. His priority isn’t the well-being of his grandchildren, or that of his DIL, it’s about a fucking presentation. Your priority wasn’t her, either, because you seemed to have no issues leaving her to push out fucking TWINS. I hope you realize while you were all comfy and cozy in bed, your wife was in a world of pain and agony and you were nowhere to be found. And don’t even use that “I couldn’t help” line. It’s not always about practicality or actually doing anything; it’s about being there and offering support. In sickness and health, for better or worst, right?” Phoenixflame3009 said. 

More husbands behaving badly:

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.