There’s a lot that can go wrong during sex, but after reading this thread started by u/RealAlctine on r/AskReddit, I’m extremely worried about accidental physical injury to a degree I have never been before.
They asked:
“What is the worst thing to happen to you during sex?”
Did you know how many things can break, pop, tear, snap, and burst during normal consensual intercourse between two adults?
Enough that I’m seriously considering giving it up altogether. Or at least stretching really thoroughly beforehand and buying emergency health insurance.
And that isn’t even getting to all the various bodily fluids completely unrelated to sex that come out of …everywhere.
Read these sex horror stories and take care of yourselves out there. Safety first.
1.
Her little f—king rat dog of a chihuahua snuck in the room while we’re f—king and attacked me. You have no idea how fast a man can move when there is a set of tiny evil teeth comming at your junk. —asus_chaos
2.
I bought some fancy, organic lube to try with my boyfriend at the time. We get down to business and my vagina starts stinging a little bit. Then a lot. Then full on BURNING. We quickly stop and he says that his bits are feeling a little tingly but not the level I’m on. I grab the lube bottle and take a better look at it. Just says normal, organic, unscented lube. I spend 5 minutes looking all over this damn bottle before I find the problem in the very last listed ingredient: menthol. My vagina continued to burn for the next hour. —TerracottaTurtle
3.
I came inside my girlfreind and pulled out and it got all over my bed, before we had a chance to clean it up my cat jumped on the bed right in it. Sorry Bender, he did not like that bath. —joeyboii23
4.
All I’m gonna say is if you do one of those spicy food challenges at a restaurant, make sure use some mouthwash or something and wash your hands really well before sexytime. —Holybartender83
5.
The guy had a sudden pain. One side of his penis and groin turned black and blue. Had to go to the ER. Thought I broke his penis. It was a blood clot that moved there due to what was going on [the erection]. —A_Random_Lady
6.
Used to have kind of that roll around sex where you drastically change positions and just going at it, we were on the floor and we somehow tipped this heavy a** lamp over and a metal part hit her square in the lip, busted it pretty decently. We worked at the same place and her excuses for it were terrible, that’s all I remember. —Can_I_Get_A_Beer
7.
Had my cervix hammered at the wrong angle and bruised it. I almost went to the ER but suffered through after some Dr. Google made me feel like I wasn’t going to die (for once). I bled a little but the pain lasted days. For sure was waddling to walk for the first day. —lovememaddly
8.
I once passed out mid climax. I didn’t eat that day and I just collapsed on her. She thought I straight up died on her. Wasn’t too serious but was definitely not fun. —typicalthrowaway24
9.
Worst for me physically: Pulling both hamstrings. First one, then the other while compensating.
Worst for me mentally: My GF’s mom walking in on us, three times now. Bonus afterward when I heard her gossiping with a friend about it over the phone —Cyanora
10.
Started farting uncontrollably. In rhythm to my thrusts. Thank god they were dry. —shootemupy2k