The decision for Planters to kill off Mr. Peanut was suspicious from the start, and when an ad during the Super Bowl revealed the master plan behind the whole spectacle, it was…well, not what anyone expected.
A funeral for Mr. Peanut, who died heroically saving his friends during a previous commercial, showed all his pals mourning his loss.
“Mr. Peanut,” begins Wesley Snipes’ eulogy of the famous mascot. “He spent his life bringing people together. I know he’d be happy that we are all together now.”
The world has lost a great nut, and I’ve lost a great friend. I can never repay you, @MrPeanut , for saving my life. Thanks for the tribute @mrmattwalsh #RIPeanut #ad pic.twitter.com/R8EYG50Nrz
— WS (@wesleysnipes) January 24, 2020
But he was buried in dirt, and a single tear from the Kool-Aid Man and a magical lightning strike(?) brought forth something new…kind of.
Hello world, I’m happy to be back! I can’t believe everyone came together for little old me! #BabyNut pic.twitter.com/8DpCFjZzX3
— Baby Nut (@MrPeanut) February 3, 2020
Yes, that’s right. Mr. Peanut has been reincarnated or reborn as something Planters is calling #BabyNut.
I’m Sorry! But what the fuck is this shit??? #babynut ?? pic.twitter.com/seZRzqQHQP
— Mall Santa Dropout (@offbrandsanta) February 3, 2020
i need a break from the simulation https://t.co/dXfQm83jQ1
— ♡ snitchery ♡ (@snitchery) February 3, 2020
This smaller version of the old gentleman nut seems to retain all the memories and mannerisms of the original Mr. Peanut, immediately asking for his monocle.
If you like it then you should’ve put a monocle on it 🧐 #BabyNut pic.twitter.com/7OnliswD18
— Baby Nut (@MrPeanut) February 3, 2020
But the real point of what’s going on here is that Planters now has a mascot called Baby Nut. And literally nobody knows what to do with this info.
I just landed in Dallas. When I took off there was no such thing as #babynut. What sort of weird portal did I fly through?
— Jeremy Dooley (@JeremyNDooley) February 3, 2020
Who is #BabyNut and what has he done to #DaddyNut
— Ethan (@EthanEarle4) February 3, 2020
Had to explain #BabyNut to Mia:
“The Planters Peanut died heroically last week and was reincarnated this week from tears of the Koolaid Man and is now a baby.”
What the actual fuck did I just say.
— Chel (@toothlesschel) February 3, 2020
They killed Mr. Peanut for us to get a #BabyNut. What is going on actually?
— José Vilson (@TheJLV) February 3, 2020
But the prevailing emotion seems to be something along the lines of abject horror.
I’m going to build a time machine to go back to the innocent age before I ever saw the words #BabyNut in that specific order and completely destroy the entire Internet totally FOREVER
— JY Yang ✍🏼 (they/them) (@halleluyang) February 3, 2020
I love kids but #babynut is an abomination pic.twitter.com/4Zs2gDXok9
— cutiekitty01🌱🌹 (@LostBlueJay) February 3, 2020
i will grind him up and fire him from an anti-aircraft gun never to be seen again #babynut pic.twitter.com/bdLx7Kl6xv
— ☣️🇭🇰Hunter🇭🇰☣️you block you lose) (@HunterWombo) February 3, 2020
i fucking hate #babynut. what the fuck. why the fuck is it here. somebody make it leave
— i just want to count pennies (@cool_enby) February 3, 2020
And it wasn’t long before people were pointing out that we just HAD a baby penetrate mainstream culture, can there be room for two?
Everyone: You can’t conceive a cuter fictional character for monetization than baby Yoda.
Planters Marketing Team: Hold my Beer. #BabyNut pic.twitter.com/zOyM14F6xC
— Jacob Robinson (@Jrob_822) February 3, 2020
What Baby Yoda would immediately do to #BabyNut if they ever met: pic.twitter.com/8MtqxiUVE9
— Joshua Ray (@joshuaray) February 3, 2020
I would boil #BabyNut. Roast him over an open fire. Crush him into little pieces. Make him into peanut butter. And I still wouldn’t feed him to Baby Yoda because he’s not worthy. https://t.co/bLaF0hE0hk
— Anibal 🇨🇴 (@_latinheat) February 3, 2020
Baby Yoda decided to eat Baby Nut #BabyYoda #BabyNut pic.twitter.com/ywB78Y3HvQ
— Andrew Sheranko (@A_Sheranko97) February 3, 2020
The only thing we know for sure is that Planters is nowhere near done trying to make #BabyNut happen.
#BabyNut here, back and cuter than ever! Now what should I do next? Tell me in the replies and I’ll try to do them in real time! And yes… suggestions that are a little nutty are ok. https://t.co/UWFWzPURht
— Baby Nut (@MrPeanut) February 3, 2020
Nobody asked for this, Planters. Nobody.