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5 People Who Had A Worse Week Than You

How was your week? Horrible? Okay, great, we’re all caught up. Everyone’s week was pretty bad, but at least we are in it together. That said, it is nice to dwell a little bit on people who have maybe had it worse, just to take our minds off things for a sec. There are people out there embarrassing themselves and acting like tools, so taking a moment to enjoy that seems like the self-care this awful week calls for. Pour yourself something delicious and enjoy the five people who are most likely having a worse week than you.

1. Britney Spears  (or Usain Bolt?)

Britney is having a pretty wild week. First of all, it really seemed like she was calling for a worker’s revolution on Instagram, which is surprising. Really rich people don’t usually call for the redistribution of wealth, but she went for it in this post:

 

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


Yes! We stan a socialist queen!

But then things took a weird turn when Spears screenshot her running time (in a post that has since been deleted) saying she ran 100m in 5.97 seconds. That would mean she broke the record of famous runner Usain Bolt, who currently holds it for a 100m dash at 9.58 seconds.

“Ran my first 5 !!!! Getting over your fear of pushing it in the beginning is key …. once I did that I hit 5 !!!!!” she said.

So, who is doing worse? Britney Spears, for being confused about the concept of time? Or for Usain Bolt, who has lost his crown to our queen? The jury is out, but people seem inclined to believe Ms. Spears:

2. Another Toilet Licker

A few weeks ago, everyone was losing their minds over the antics of TikTok star Ava Louise, who posted a video on social media of licking an airplane toilet. She called it the #CoronavirusChallenge, and after her story got a lot of (mostly negative) attention, she referred to it as a PR stunt on Twitter:


Until recently, it did just seem like a stupid joke one person made. Despite what they say about teens, most of them are not willing nor eager to lick a public toilet bowl. But I guess there’s no depth of depravity too deep for these influencers. A young man named Lars, who is big on Instagram, decided to actually partake in this “challenge” and posted a video of himself sucking bowl:

And now he’s posting that he’s got COVID-19. Challenge complete!


It’s possible that Lars got the rona from any number of contaminated surfaces and not that specific toilet. Something about this stunt makes me think he doesn’t wash his hands much. But let’s hope this outcome has taught a few of his followers a lesson: not all hashtags are games. We wish Lars a speedy recovery from COVID-19 and stupidity.

3. The Face Mask Bikini Influencer

Yulia Ushakova is an Instagram influencer who usually just shows off her hot bod to please her followers, but she made herself an enemy of the people by showing it off in entirely the wrong way. She fashioned a bikini out of medical supplies that doctors have desperately been begging for, making it clear that she pretty much only reads the headlines.

 

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by Юлия Ушакова (@yulia_ushakova) on


The caption reads: “I ordered a new trend of the swimming season 2020. The built-in valves make it easier to breathe, but the set needs to be changed every two hours! I don’t know if this challenge is already on Instagram, but I like the idea!”

It might be just a joke to Ushakova, but the comments on Instagram make it clear that no one seems to find this funny:

Influencers: you’re not cut out for comedy.

4. Kim Kardashian

Way back in the time before, Kim Kardashian released a video in which it seemed as though Taylor Swift approved a Kanye West lyric that Swift later claimed to be offended by. Swift was deemed a snake. He mentions were full of snake emojis. She was “canceled.” Again. And now, during the midst of a pandemic, someone has released yet another tape, supposedly the full version of Swift and West’s conversation regarding his song “Famous.”


The tape seems to validate Swift’s claims that she never approved being called a bitch and was not psyched about West claiming he made her famous. History has vindicated her. But has Kim dropped it? Absolutely not.

Kim tweeted that Swift is lying again, and complained that it was inappropriate given the current state of the world:


You know, she’s not wrong. though it doesn’t seem like Swift is really saying all that much about it:


And this is a good point:


You’re all snakes. Pay up or shut up, ladies.

5. M.I.A.

We already all know that there is a significant and disturbing number of people who don’t believe in vaccines. What we didn’t all know is that rapper M.I.A. is one of them. This week she revealed her tinfoil hat beliefs on Twitter, claiming she’d rather get sick and die than be inserted with a chip. Guess she thinks she’s pretty interesting:


The claim that the vaccines we have will see us through COVID-19 are obviously completely untrue, almost like M.I.A. is a pop star and not a scientist. She was dunked on quite hard no Twitter and everywhere as people expressed their profound disappointment over the way she’s using her platform:


I have bad news: the government doesn’t need to chip you. That phone you’re tweeting from is already telling them everything they need. 

More of the best of this week:

Aimeé Lutkin