Whew, what a week! Thankfully it’s over, but that doesn’t mean the fun has to stop. To mark the end of the week, we collected the funniest tweets from women and put them all in one list so you could enjoy them too. Go ahead and reward yourself, you’ll thank us later. (Or not, who cares.)
1.
Me when a guy says he regularly goes to therapy pic.twitter.com/oEszluNhJj
— Julie Greiner (@JulieAbridged) August 19, 2019
2.
She was on a break https://t.co/W3sihPUWFF
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 20, 2019
3.
me reading back my own writing. pic.twitter.com/cb4zlWjjIG
— sarah fowerbaugh (@sarfow11) August 12, 2019
4.
Seems unfair that never in my life have I sat next to a hot person on a plane and yet every person who’s ever sat next to me has.
— claire parker (@SorryDontClaire) August 21, 2019
5.
Me to my friends: do not settle, be brave, ask for what you want!!!
Me as the waitress brings out the wrong order: looks perfect
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) August 17, 2019
6.
these names can’t be real pic.twitter.com/EiGGR2dNHY
— -_- (@imnotbecca) August 11, 2019
7.
never asking her for a loan again pic.twitter.com/c5Xbf3NOWF
— nebraska jones (@shutupaida) August 16, 2019
8.
https://twitter.com/ambermruffin/status/1163616809796407300
9.
men hitting on a painting pic.twitter.com/QW9BUpeYP5
— Kitty Wenham (@kittywenham) August 19, 2019
10.
hate when stores sell shirts called "the boyfriend tee" honey boyfriend tees are FREE you think i'm just gonna BUY a big shirt??? no fucking way! i earned this Slaughterhouse Five t-shirt through months of gaslighting
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) August 15, 2019
11.
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go https://t.co/KAApOLeoBW— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) August 16, 2019
12.
SSSSSSSSSomebody stop me! pic.twitter.com/geNIdvATVN
— Professor Garbage (@maggieserota) August 23, 2019
13.
young adult novels really oversold how easy it would be for 5-10 people to topple a fascist regime
— i bless the rains down in castamere (@Chinchillazllla) August 21, 2019
14.
PSA pic.twitter.com/W4VXjAVK9J
— crissy (@crissymilazzo) August 21, 2019
15.
Can’t wait for Christian Girl Autumn. Gonna wear my uggs and do anal cause it doesn’t count.
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) August 18, 2019
16.
Me: dear god. Please destroy ICE and Amazon
God: yo I gotchu
God: *melts ice caps and starts burning the rainforest*
Me: wait no
— Baked Amanda (@theconradical) August 22, 2019
17.
I want a healthy relationship with toxic relationship sex
— Gemini. (@_najab) August 16, 2019
18.
being an adult is basically just lemon water and disappointment.
— my name is no. (@om_eye_goodness) August 19, 2019
19.
feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream i should also be
— dewclaw (@whynowhy) August 22, 2019
20.
https://twitter.com/MaggieMaeFish/status/1163565794854240256
21.
Just followed a stranger around for 3 blocks bc he was whistling the Robin Hood rooster’s song so well. Please rescue me when I inevitably, voluntarily join a cult someday
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) August 22, 2019
22.
Me, whispering and teary-eyed after reading the "Enjoy!" note at the end of my frozen dinner instructions: "Thank you, friend."
— Jessica Kane (@jesskane31) August 19, 2019
23.
Once I told a man I was a Type 1
Diabetic and he said “I bet you taste extra sweet down there.” Using my autoimmune disease to be creepy? Folks, THAT’S amore!— Amy Silverberg (@AmySilverberg) August 22, 2019
More funny tweets, memes, and pictures:
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- Rob Lowe’s Son Won’t Stop Roasting His Dad On Instagram
- 21 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Laughing This Week
- 37 Things People Started Saying As ‘Bits’ But Quickly Became Their Real Lingo
- Tweet About Recommended A/C Temps Sparks Heated Debate On Twitter