Mike
And, the burns keep coming…
16. Pizza, wings, and lies…
Burn Rating: 🔥🔥🔥
MATH. Yes. This owner brought the read receipts and took them to school.
17.
18.
Burn Rating: 🔥
“We have been in business for 30 years” is always a nice addendum. It leans into the fact that it’s probably “not me, but you” without being too explicit about it. Solid. Respectful.
19.
Burn Rating: 🔥🔥🔥
No stone left unturned here. I’m a fan of roasting the details and this response does it.
20.
Burn Rating: 🔥🔥🔥
Aww yes, take him to cheese school while simultaneously burning him to a crisp. A Gruyere burn is so rare, you can’t waste an opportunity to make one. Nicely done.
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21.
Burn Rating: 🔥
Not bad, a little defense without too many specifics. I do love the line “meat by itself is utterly fantastic.” That might be my new catchphrase.
22. Busted by CCTV.
Burn Rating: 🔥🔥
No surer way to make a dispute less of a dispute than by going to the videotape. This review may not be particularly hilarious, but it covers all the bases.
23.
Burn Rating: 🔥🔥🔥
“Yes, Peter.” This lady gets how to set the tone for a burn before it even starts.
24.
Burn Rating: 🔥 or 🔥🔥🔥
So I don’t read Chinese, but if that says something really mean, this gets 3 flames. If not, still good, but not as savage as a multi-lingual roast.
25. When a review starts with “Docked our boat” you know it’s gonna be bad.
Burn Rating: 🔥
Respectful, but telling someone to wear a mask is basically the lowest level of burn. You gotta really get in that a** and mock them for SO much more.
26.
Burn Rating: 🔥
Ok, this one only gets one flame because, well, I’m pretty sure licking a cupcake and putting it back is punishable by law and they should have pre-empted this whole thing by calling the cops. But, good on you for being a “professional” or whatever.
