Man Asks If It’s Sexist To Demand Another Salesperson Because His Was “Too Hot”

Have you ever gone to buy something and found the salesperson too hot to help you? Were you rendered so uncomfortable by that person’s hotness that you had to ask for a different salesperson? Did you forget that attractive women are professionals who work and are not interested in being sex objects at their job? Are you Mike Pence? Take this situation one Redditor found himself in.

“I was looking to buy a car from a dealership and the salesperson that happened to see me first was a very attractive woman that also happened to dress a bit provocatively. Not unprofessionally, but I personally considered it too much,” the OP writes. 

“I generally don’t do well with people who are so attractive, they make me very uncomfortable, but I decided to give her a chance. I told her what I was looking for and she showed me some models they had available. This whole thing took about 20 minutes until I decided that this wasn’t a person with whom I wanted to negotiate to buy a car. So I asked her if it was possible to see someone else to help me.” 

Look, there are lots of reasons why you might not want to negotiate with someone. It might be because they’re too aggressive and don’t respect your financial or personal boundaries. But folks who sell cars work on commission, and their time is precious—which is exactly what the salesperson explained to the OP. 

“She said that it’s no problem, but that she, as a professional, would like to know what she did so as to avoid repeating the same mistake in the future. I could see no way out and it was a fair request, so I told her as politely as I could: she was too attractive, dressed too revealingly and that made me uncomfortable with her,” the OP said. 

“I could see that annoyed her, but she chose to take it in stride and said she’ll ‘take that as a compliment.’ And then she tried to convince me to let her show me some other models. I, however, stood fast and told her I really would prefer to see someone else and apologized once again.”

“Her face hardened and she said that she’d go fetch someone. But before she left, she looked at me aggressively and told me that I don’t have to apologize, cause this isn’t the first and won’t be the last time she’s losing a commission due to sexism.” 

The OP, being confused, wonders if he was being an a******. He says, “I was very polite, I tried not to insult her, but she chose to see sexism for some reason.” 

Hmmm. Some reason. Can’t think of it. 

What did Redditors think of this unusual shopping experience? Some were pretty astounded by what they saw as blatant sexism. 

“You discriminated her entirely based on looks and deprived her from making a living,” said Gon_Snow, getting right to the point. 

“These are some subjective judgements against her (‘provocative’ and ‘revealing’ while professional???) I am a full figure woman and work with a lot of them. We wear those awful uniforms with the patches on the shirt and ugly ass khakis. There is still ogling. It’s hard for some women not to be ‘provocative.’ You were shallow dude,” explained supermeg07

“What the hell does what someone is wearing have ANYTHING to do with buying a car? Why in gods name would it matter in any way shape or form? Is it because you cant control yourself around women? Did you feel like she was going to sexually assault you? Did you worry you might lose control and sexually assault her? This person was doing a job, she was there to show you vehicles and answer question and she could of done it just as good as whomever you had replace her. Nothing in this situation change for you accept your uncontrollable urge to look at boobies was sated. For her it cost her a paycheck, it wasted her work time (they work in rounds btw, made her look incompetent to her boss and like a failure to her colleagues… because of what again, some exposed skin? Like you dont see that litterally everywhere you go,” said Dan_Tahlis.

Other Redditors interpreted the OP’s behavior as social anxiety and said he should be able to purchase a car from someone he is comfortable with. 

“I was just going to say NAH. Its his right to purchase from whoever he feels the most comfortable with. She is also has a right to be pissed about missing out on the commission. Everyone calling him an asshole for having a form of social anxiety is kind of tripping me out,” said TheyKnowWeAreHere

“This is business and lots of money is at stake. You want to be able to negotiate properly and have your footing with you. If you decide that working with a particular salesperson puts you at a disadvantage, then you are only doing yourself a favor to work with someone who puts you at ease and lets you negotiate a deal to your benefit,” jpcats said.

What do you think? Was the OP justified in wanting to negotiate with a different salesperson?

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Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.