Aimeé
Growing up is hard to do, often in ways you don’t expect. A lot of people get a cruel awakening when they realize their parents can’t hold their hands throughout their entire lives. The shocks of adulthood come swift and take no prisoners.
Redditor u/vertexlord posted a question for the newly adult on subreddit r/AskReddit, querying, “Adults of reddit, what was something you were unprepared for when you first moved out out of your parents’ house?”
The answers are a pretty good preparatory list for young folks about to launch. For people who have graduated past these initials surprises, the answers are a walk down memory lane for what it was like when you first came home to an empty house. Or at least a house with only one roommate in it. While it does get easier, there may never be a time when I’m enough of an adult that I never run out of toilet paper.
1.
The fact that $100 is no longer a lot of money. —dudebobmac
2.
Loneliness by far. I loved living by myself, but lying in bed without my cat on my bed, or without hearing my mom laughing downstairs made the room feel very small and secluded. —Ivory_Beetle
3.
The cost of food and how fast it goes bad. —harleegentry
4.
You need to actually THINK about what you want to eat each and every day. I still can’t get over it. —sleepingArisu
5.
Come back to a dark, lifeless home in the evenings. Since my mom worked 6am 2pm until a few years ago, and we lived with my grandparents, there were always someone home when I’d come back from school. Even if we didn’t chat, there were someone there, moving around, doing their own things. It sometimes was annoying because I sometimes was tired and needed peace and quiet. But I underestimate how reassuring it was. —Marawal
6.
The amount of depressing things that come in the post: bills etc —slightlyspaced
7.
How alike my mom and I are. I used to tell her to chill with the household chores. She couldn’t chill. I can’t chill. Must. Clean… —Amunet59
8.
Being on my own if I got sick. I once got food poisoning when my roommate was away for the weekend. Vomiting every 20-30 minutes for an entire day. I was severely dehydrated and didn’t even have the strength to walk to the drug store for meds and gatorade. —theoptionexplicit
9.
Happy things don’t just happen. You decide to do them. All those fun events and great memories you had growing up? The birthday parties, beach trips, days you decided to turn the living room into a castle of sheets and cushions?
My parents deliberately planned those things (or gave their own time on a whim) because they wanted me to be happy. Even if I’m tired from work, I try to plan fun, silly events and always celebrate holidays, because I realized no one’s going to do it for me anymore.
Edit: This comment really seemed to resonate with people! Thanks for the comments and bling. I’m glad this made you happy, or think, or feel seen.
For all those without parents or guardians that made things special for you, I’m sorry. You deserved to have someone who cared.
For those who ask, How do you make special things happen on your own? Or when life is busy, or when you’re poor?, here are some things I’ve done to make my own life nice:
I pick myself wildflower bouquets… or sometimes from people’s shrubs if they’re near the road shhhh
I often take myself to the beach
I like to drive fast with my windows down and good music blaring
I journal a lot
I take myself out to the movies on week nights! I actually prefer to see movies alone. I’m free to emote as I please, and I don’t have to explain anything to anyone.
I strike up a lot of random conversations with people on transit, restaurant waitstaff, folks working at coffee shops, etc. It feels good to make human connections.
I teach. Teaching is one big high for me.
I’m always on the lookout for neat treasures on the ground. Lone earrings, a nice rock, and red autumn leaf.
Get a warm cup some something and hold it in both hands while you walk around on a cold day. Best ever.
I guess these aren’t necessarily holiday-things, but they’re still special, and make my life joyful. —brownidegurl
10.
Not having condiments or spices on hand. I took for granted having salt and pepper and whatever spice I needed in the cupboard. Buying all that at once can add up quickly. —OpheliaImmortal3452
11.
Water cost money. I grew up on a farm with well water. It completely blew me away people had to pay for tap water. Years later I feel bad for people in cities that don’t provide drinkable water. Our home town had an oil pipe burst and contaminated their drinking water. Many people came to our farm for drinkable water. —dayr2dream
12.
You have to clean EVERYTHING yourself. Even in a small apartment, that’s a big job. No wonder my mom got so pissed off when my sisters and I couldn’t keep our rooms clean when we were kids. —Hopesick_2231
13.
DON’T FORGET TO BUY TOILET ROLL! THERE IS NO MAGIC TOILET FAIRY DESPITE APPEARANCES! Edit: Having read all the replies, it appears that I am the Toilet Roll Fairy! I am glad to have reminded you all to buy more! —LegoHurtsLikeSatan
14.
How wrong my idea of “independence” was. Sure, you can do whatever you want whenever you want. But almost every activity generates waste in some capacity that YOU need to deal with.
Also, if you have a full-time job, having to forego hanging out with friends that don’t. Sorry guys, I can’t hang out until 2 am on Tuesday to play video games anymore. Gotta be up at 6! —BigMaraSpence
15.
The lack of auto-refilling cupboards in the kitchen. When I ate all the food, the cupboards just stayed stubbornly empty. At my parent’s home they always magically refilled. —blackcloudcat
16.
Renting. One tip I can give is when you move in and fill out the entry report, be as absolutely thorough as you can. Take the time to fully inspect everything and write it down on the entry report. Even the tiniest of marks, stains and any other damage that is present when you move in. And take photos. Photograph everything and keep those photos safe.
Real estates will try to blame you for everything they can take you for when you move out so that they and the owners don’t have to pay for repairs. Cover your arse. —HappyTimeHollis
17.
The odd sense of a lack of security going to bed the first few nights. I’m close with my parents so when I lived at home I always felt a bit safer that they were downstairs when I went up to bed. It was weird when that was gone. —maybebaby83
18.
Finding a new doctor. Still haven’t seen one since I moved out three years ago. When something seems to be slightly wrong I just hope that it will get better without seeing a doctor. I’m kind of worried that I’m going to regret this at some point. —GumboldTaikatalvi
19.
You become an adult when you make a run to the store for a plunger, and nothing else —beckybarbaric
20.
The lack of conflict. When I was a kid, I’d always gauge the mood of the house when I got home. I got really good at instantly knowing if my parents were okay with each other, or if they’d had a huge fight and weren’t speaking to each other. (The latter situation was much more common.)
When I got my own place,I remember coming home, locking the door behind me, and just drinking in the peaceful silence and lack of stress. It was amazing. —Shalamarr
21.
The peace and quiet. —theofiel
