23 Women Who Made Us Piss Our Pants Laughing This Week

16.

My parents are replacing their coffee machine, which is 7 years old.

Me: that’s not that old, I have sheets older than that.

Mother: well perhaps your sheets aren’t getting as much action as our coffee machine.

I’m going to need an ambulance.

— Calla Wahlquist (@callapilla) July 14, 2019

17.

18.

the crazy thing about being single is that instead of texting every single thought i have in a day to someone, now they just stay in there

— Eva Victor (@evavictor) July 14, 2019

19.

https://twitter.com/cas1ynch/status/1149750581847891968

20.

https://twitter.com/roxiqt/status/1150900135842471937

21.

clock: go to bed

brain: google marmosets i dare you

— Aparna Nancherla 🇵🇸 (@aparnapkin) July 18, 2019

22.

FaceApp is not something I acknowledge pic.twitter.com/X2aEatobBC

— Mariah Carey (@MariahCarey) July 18, 2019

23.

https://twitter.com/kellyoxford/status/6786823867

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