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Oh, The Weird Things You See On Public Transportation (21 Posts)

21.

On a relatively busy underground carriage an obviously tired professional looking lady drifted of to sleep in her seat. At the next stop a guy gets on the train who is clearly homeless, has a bad hacking cough and is also carrying a pungent odour with him. He sits in the chair opposite the sleeping lady and this is when his hacking cough becomes more noticeable. A few minutes later he coughs so violently a globule of what is either sputum or saliva lands on the lapel of the sleeping lady. Homeless guy gets of at the next stop and now the whole train carriage is looking at the sputum on the ladies jacket.

Well she finally jerks awake and the first thing she notices is everyone staring at her. She is obviously taken aback by this and quickly tries to figure out why we are all looking. That’s when she notices the saliva/phlegm. She must’ve thought that she was drooling when she slept because instead of cleaning it off with a tissue she decided the best course of action would be to quickly and discreetly use her mouth. She darted her eyes around the carriage and then as if in slow motion she lifted the lapel up to her lips and quickly sucked up the sputum/saliva globule.

We all wanted to stop her but none of us did. She acted so quickly there was nothing we could do to stop her. Before she had actually noticed the saliva we are all being terribly British and refusing to break the no talking on the tube rule. Just hoping she wouldn’t notice it or if she did notice she would just wipe it off with a tissue. After she had sucked up the phlegm it was too late to say anything and we all wordlessly agreed it was better to let her continue believing that it was her own saliva/sputum. —Few_Pangolin

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Aimeé Lutkin